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| It has been said that people will do more to avoid pain than to experience pleasure. I would like the reader to consider a slight adjustment to the above phrase and follow the word 'avoid' with the word 'anticipated'. We never really know if something is going to be hard or painful until we actually do it comfortzone. The only thing that actually stops us doing something is our minds idea about something built from 'False Evidence Appearing Real' or simply fear. We fear or anticipate the pain of attempting something new simply because to do so means leaving our comfort zone. Our habitual condition makes us feel safe and because the outcome of any new action can't be predicted we tend to fear the worse rather than expect the best.
This is not just something that happens on a personal level either. Anything you attempt that might be new or just 'out of character' can quite easily be undone by other people - often the people closest to you. Machiavelli captured it best in his famous quote "There is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies in all who profit by the old order, and only lukewarm defenders in all who profit by the new order. This lukewarmness arises partly from fear of their adversaries, who have law in their favor, and partly from the incredulity of mankind, who do not believe in anything new until they have had an actual experience of it." Can you see why your dreams should remain private It is fairly obvious that your dreams might well impinge on the comfort zones of others and if they do you can certainly expect some resistance!
This is not something to get concerned about though. You have a responsibility to yourself to do the best for yourself. You can only make the world a better place by changing what you do to become a better person. If the path to achieving your dreams makes you a better person then it has to be the right way to go. We all have to be willing to leave our comfort zones to make the world a better place and if that means we are doing it to fulfill another persons dreams whilst pursuing our own, then so be it. In fact, the quickest way to make your dreams a reality is to help other people achieve their dreams.
If you are skeptical about this innate resistance to change we all seem to have, think of the real pain and heartache that comes from repeating the same mistakes again and again. We are all guilty of this on some level whether it be our health, our relationships or our financial situation. Why do we choose not to suffer a little discomfort now for the sake of a whole lot of pain later Equally, why do we choose short term pleasure over our long term well being Is it because we have allowed the mind to control our lives rather than us controlling it Of course it is! Our anticipation of any event that we have never actually experienced is more often than not based on false evidence from the past. This makes us choose the easy option over the better option regardless of the long term consequences.
One of the most effective weapons in fighting our resistance to change is to change our attitude to events as they arise. Look for the hidden benefits in every event, even if on the surface it appears things are going wrong. Just flip the switch and start to expect the best from any action you take. When you do this on a consistent basis you will find it easier to leave the comfort zone and choose the best option; the option that moves you closer to your dreams.
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| The feature articles about Gay Truckers in the rival rags always dick-shift through "Tricks by CB", Tea Room Sex in the rest stops, Sex in the sleepers of trucks, Hitchhikers opting for ass since they didnt have the cash, and sexual adventures from the fast lanes. The Truckers featured in these so-called exclusives were couples who gave their own account of a Truckers life. Of course when the copy got boring the topic detoured to sex. The single Truckers gave a sexual route of hot and horny stops with huge loads delivered in the rear. With all of the heavy action going on do any of these guys ever make their deadlines on time Is the life of every Gay Trucker an over haul of sex, lust, and sleaze bag follies Or is there actually a Gay Trucker behind the wheel who enjoys life on the road while making a difference by being different Thats a copy good buddy!
From Nevin Dear Brian, My name is Nevin and I write a weekly column entitled "The Saga Continues" for www. gaypride. com along with featurettes and The Seattle Gay News, . Im also an Activist whos for the cause and not himself. So, what do I want Id love to do an interview with you about your life on the road, your activism, and other contributions to the gay community. Single Gay Truckers are a myth and a slew of Queens will be flocking to you in groves. Not to worry, this isnt a cheap ploy to bag myself a trucker husband. Ive been single and celibate for the past 6 years and plan on staying this way. Until God places the person meant for me in my life. goal setting Until then, I write, deliver meals on wheels to PWAs for Lifelong Aids Alliance, Give talks for the Pierce County Aids Foundation, sing in the Church Choir, On the Prayer Commission, and am the spokesman for Fuzeon which has me giving press conferences to the World Wide Media. So, are you interested.
Hi Nevin, Id be happy to But I dont really know what to do or say so youll have to guide me through it. Let me know what you what me to do. Thanks, Brian Davis Brian Davis went from spinning hits in a disco in Phoenix to spinning wheels on the open highway. He had a nine to five job that had him dress in a suit and tie then die for 8 hours in a cubicle. He always wanted to be a Trucker so he went to Truckers School and graduated as one. Hes extremely shy and quiet with a twist of introvert with a heart of gold. When hes not on the road, hes involved with various AIDS organizations, Gay activities, Events, and helping and healing others. When Brian lived in Washington D. C. he opened his home to people who traveled there for the March on Washington both times. comfortzone He donates to various charities, volunteers at Hospices, and is a caregiver to PWAs who live alone. What a gay, huh.
Nevin Jefferson/The Saga Continues: A good friend of mine became a Trucker and I got to full fill my fantasy of riding in a giant rig on the open highway. This dream became a nightmare when we experienced racism over the CB complete with the "N" word and other bigoted expressions. My friend quit shortly afterwards because he couldnt take it any longer. I advised him to either ignore it or talk about their mamas then call it a trip. He didnt! Is racism still a problem on the road Have you experienced any colorful language over the CB
Brian Davis/DJ Trucker: Actually, I rarely turn on my CB and instead prefer to listen to music or OutQ, the gay radio station from my Sirius satellite radio or the dance CDs I used to work with in the clubs. I only use my CB during traffic jams and at shippers or consignees and thats a big 10-4 good buddy. Actually truckers dont use "good buddy" anymore because that refers to the person being gay but I guess you could call me "good buddy" anyway.
NJ/TSC: Truckers have the same All-American Flavor of a Sports player; manly, rugged looks, and a strong demeanor. Did this image make you hesitate about being a Trucker
BD/DJ Trucker: No but my friends were shocked and amused when they found out I was going to be a trucker.
NJ/TSC: Youre in a profession where Gays are made to feel excluded not to mention in the company of Racist Rednecks and other Homophobic twits. Did this cause you to worry about your well being and safety
BD/DJ Trucker: Its probably not any worse that any other field. When I listen to the gay satellite radio station, they get a lot of straight truckers that call into the show too and they dont have a problem at all with gay people or gay truckers. NJ/TSC: Are you a mans man
BD/DJ Trucker: Im single and available nationwide.ooops, did I say that
NJ/TSC: How old are you BD/DJ Trucker: Im younger than you are! NJ/TSC: Oh, really! Ill have you know that I just turned 37 on the 27th of August. I was born in 1966, Ill let you do the math. (There was a long pause of silence with vibes of disbelief and having ones mind blown clear off of the neck.)
BD/DJ Trucker: Im older than you
NJ/TSC: Yep! And its not to late for you to get me a gift. I collect Pink Flamingos. (In an effort to be honest and put an end to the freaked out and baffled vibes coming live from the other end of the line. I decided to tell Brian my real age.)
NJ/TSC: Actually, Im 32! I want my readers to think that Im older. Why For the simple logic that theres nothing that a young snot nosed kid can tell me about gay life that he havent lived yet. The line went dead!
At first I thought the nice young man took a vow of silence since he is shy, quiet, and introverted. After hanging up I had two messages from my hot topic on my voice mail. When I called him back, I got his voice mail. I left him a message like we both had been doing for the past 2 weeks with today being our lucky day. The phone rang shortly afterwards with a very apologetic Roger Wilco whos phone went over and out in a course of the interview.
BD/DJ Trucker: I bet you were still talking away on the phone werent you
NJ/TSC: You got it! The laughter from the other end told me that Brian was relaxed and was now into the comfort zone that was being established. My Trucker Buddy now knew that he was dealing with an eccentric fruitcake heavy on the nuts! Or he could have belted down a couple of shots to get him through this interview. Its possible! NJ/TSC: You were a DJ in a Circuit Bar in Phoenix plus you had a 9 to 5 to keep it company. Was becoming a Trucker a lifelong wish or something to do for the sheer hell of it Give me the dirt! For those not in the know, whats a Circuit Bar
BD/DJ Trucker: Well a Circuit Bar is a nightclub that play the latest in dance music and has guests DJs from around the world come in to spin. Being perch in the DJ booth above the dance floor overlooking a sea of hot sweaty gorgeous shirtless guys was wonderful, believe me but I had to leave that all behind. My day job was becoming unbearable so I wanted to do something else. I had always been interested in traveling and trucking and I finally realized dreams wont happen if all you do is dream about them, you got to jump in and do it. So I did it.
NJ/TSC: Are you mechanically inclined How good are you under the hood
BD/DJ Trucker: Is this a sex question I took auto mechanics in high school but that is all a blur to me now, does that count
NJ/TSC: Brian, during our phone conversation you told me that you knew where the gas goes. Then the too cute story about your hands on experience in Trucking School that got oily. Please relate!
BD/DJ Trucker: One evening in class, I was out checking the engine under the hood when I screamed out "Oh my God!!" and a few of my classmates came over in concern and asked what happened and if I was alright. I lifted my hand out of the engine to show a huge glob of grease laying on the top of my hand and Paul, one of my classmates hit me upside the head because they all thought I caught my hand in a fan belt or something. Then everyone burst out in laughter.
NJ/TSC: One of the biggest loads of bullshit being delivered throughout the Gay Community is that AIDS isnt a problem. Of course, this made it open season on unsafe sex and risky behavior of the disgusting kind. What really pisses me off is that Aids Organizations are losing donations because the Idiots of the Gay Press are telling readers that theyre fools to donate and support these organizations because AIDS isnt a problem and hasnt been since 1996. People who depend these services are being slashed due to lack of funds. Im left with the damage that these twits have done to people who need help, care, and love. I volunteer for Lifelong Aids Alliance. The budget cuts that they had to enforce put a real hurting on them and their clients. I offered to take the people on my route to their appointments since cab service is being sliced out of the program. They told me their problems and I offered them a solution. Im that type of gay! As much as I write about the truth of the whole manner, Im being thrown repeatedly into a brick wall while falling on deaf ears. Ouch! So can you do me and my dear readers a favor by getting on the horn and telling what you see on your side of the road
BD/DJ Trucker: Well being relatively new to trucking Im still learning about gay and AIDS issues in the field of trucking. Thats where the Gay Truckers Association comes in handy.
NJ/TSC: Okay, Brian! Tell me about the loss of all of those who were near and dear to your heart. About what youre seeing and what you told me. Your involvement with AIDS organizations, Groups, and all of the great things that you do to make this world a better place. That people are still dying and that youre taking care of people. Suicide being a major issue still. Tell me your honest emotions on safe and safer sex. Should it be practiced at all costs Are your fellow Truckers practicing safe sex or hauling a mystery cargo Of course, theyll turn the fucking page. But, hey! We did our part!
BD/DJ Trucker: My first involvement with an AIDS organization was when I lived in Washington DC back in the mid 80s. There was not much known about HIV or transmission back then and many doctors would not treat AIDS patients because of their fear of contraction. One thing I remember very well back then was attending an AIDS function and there was a guy who was in the advanced stages of KS. I walked up to him and gave him a big hug. I was so scared. I dont remember his name but I do remember that he needed to be hugged by someone. Since that time I have done volunteer work for various AIDS and gay organizations. During the late 80s and early 90s my longtime friends were getting sick and dying. After each time a friend would die, I would hope that no more of my friends were sick but then I would have to make more hospital visits and attend funerals. Its really tough to see all your friends die, the people you have loved for so many years.
NJ/TSC: I did a road trip to Magic Mountain in California and San Francisco. I loved it! I get a natural high on driving through the great lands and seeing the sites. BD/DJ Trucker: I was just in San Francisco not too long ago during the Folsom street fair.
NJ/TSC: Did you go
BD/DJ Trucker: No, I did laundry instead!
NJ/TSC: You domestic darling you! Its better to have clean clothes than being around dirty tramps at a Ho Street Fair. At least something came out clean in the wash! Do you use sheets or fabric softer
BD/DJ Trucker: Huh
NJ/TSC: So, whats a life of a Trucker like Are you welcomed with open legs and mouths throughout the States
BD/DJ Trucker: Well its probably not as sexually glamorous as most people think, at least for me it isnt. Ive always heard all these truckers stories about people driving beside a truck and whipping it out or flashing them but every time I look down into cars all I see are elderly ladies reading a map or doing a crossword puzzle.
NJ/TSC: Whats the dirt on Tearoom sex without the shopping bags Is this every Truckers delight
BD/DJ Trucker: Truckers call the Rest Areas "pickle parks". Ive only seen one pickle.
NJ/TSC: When I was on the road during my trip I passed out both flavored and regular condoms to the "Our Sluts of The Stalls" sect. Then passed out the literature to the wives, so that they would read it to their hubbies during the trip. Yes, Im a AIDS Activist who always does his part to promote safe and safer sex. I also carry the safe sex packages with my mug on the front from my stint as Poster Boy for safe and safer sex for POCAAN (People of Color Against Aids Network). I pass out the ones from my fuller figure model days. I bet you Bootsie and Purrfecto (My Kitties) that no man can look at my 300 plus size ass and can get it up.
BD/DJ Trucker: I guess that would be one way of practicing safe sex.
NJ/TSC: Did you become a Trucker for the sex or did you actually make your fantasy a reality because life on the road is something that you really wanted to do
BD/DJ Trucker: Ive always loved driving and road trips but when I was driving back from Djing in Austin, Tx, I thought, gee it would be great to just drive all day, see the country and get paid for it so I made up my mind to change careers and go into trucking. I miss Djing a lot but I dont miss my corporate day job sitting in a maze of cubicles under florescent lights breathing recycled air all day. Ive always had a dj booth every place Ive lived and my truck will be no different. Im working on making a little 12volt DJ booth that I can keep in the back of my sleeper berth. Itll bring a new meaning to the phrase mobile DJ.
NJ/TSC: People are under the impression that Truckers get laid 24/7 with the 9 inch Trucker dick being a trick to turn for. Are you a very sexually active gay or are you storing your cargo for the right dock
BD/DJ Trucker: I havent gotten laid since the Clinton Administration.
NJ/TSC: What are you looking for in a man If you say "not me!", Im going to reach through the phone and tear your tonsils out! Are you an incurable romantic What do you want to come home from to the road to
BD/DJ Trucker: Its hard to say what Im looking for in a guy because there are so many variables and nothing is set in stone except honest and caring, but I plan on driving 48 states for a few years and buy a house in the country with several acres where I can have a couple of horses and a big garden. Hopefully during that time I can find someone with similar interests. Fortunately with trucking, location of a boyfriend is not a factor since I can take my home time anywhere in the country. It would be if I can find someone who can travel with me occasionally. It gets really lonely on the road.
NJ/TSC: Can I interest you in something Black
BD/DJ Trucker: Well you know I do have a black Peterbilt.
NJ/TSC: Do you wear boxers or briefs
BD/DJ Trucker: Briefs when Im driving, neither when Im sleeping.
NJ/TSC: Since you dont have your CB on, can I ride with you Hey, I make damn good company and youll never get bored. Okay, youre quiet. Big deal! Im outgoing, get over it Gertrude!
BD/DJ Trucker: Im going to lock you in the sleeper of my truck!
NJ/TSC: Remember that Im writing about you!
BD/DJ Trucker: Youll love my sleeper! I have a T.V., DVD, VHS, Catalina Videos, and refrigerator thats fully loaded. And of course I play all the best dance music, country, bluegrass and gay talk radio on my trucks sound system.
NJ/TSC: Kewl! Lock me in my room why dont you I insist!
BD/DJ Trucker: Youll have to fill out my application for cabin boy first.
NJ/TSC: Tell me about the Gay Truckers Union Are they worth the dues
BD/DJ Trucker: Its called the Gay Truckers Association. Its a new organization and so its in its infancy stage. It will become whatever we make of it and so the dues are important to help it start up. The organization that will give the gay truckers a voice in an industry that it has not had a voice before.
NJ/TSC: Do you own your own rig or do you rent from U Haul How many wheelers do you drive
BD/DJ Trucker: I drive a 2002 black Peterbilt. Its a company tractor but its exclusively mine for the next year or so. The tractor has 10 wheels and the trailers have 8 wheels.
NJ/TSC: Have you ever been tempted to venture out into another exciting career move BD/DJ Trucker: The only other career move Ill be making is buying a small hobby farm out in rural America and seeing what I can make of it but thats still a few years down the road.
NJ/TSC: So, when are you hitting the happy highway trail again And where to
BD/DJ Trucker: Ill be out on the road in a few days.
NJ/TSC: How often are you on the road
BD/DJ Trucker: I get home for a week about every two months. I could get home sooner but I like to take my time-off in various parts of the country.
NJ/TSC: Do you ever come to Seattle Where have you traveled thus far
BD/DJ Trucker: I was in Seattle and Federal Way back in August delivering pallets of junk mail to the Post Office there and eventually coming to a mailbox near you. I have traveled all over the country, from the Florida Everglades to the Maine and Canada border, from San Diego to Seattle with everything in between. Ive driven every interstate road in the U.S. plus many smaller country roads.
NJ/TSC: Are you a Size Queen
BD/DJ Trucker: Nevin, I have a big truck with a large engine that sticks way out in front ready to gobble up the rear-end of any compact car in front of me. Am I a size queen Hmmm, I leave that to your imagination.
NJ/TSC: Okay, since were comfortable with one another, can I be your roadside buddy The line went dead! Aw, Gee! I drove another one away. For real!
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The comfort zone is where you feel safe. No waves. No rough seas. See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil. I'm not going to bother you and I don't want you to bother me. That's the comfort zone. Or as some call it-living in the box. Where do you live Do you live in the box--I mean do you live your life in the comfort zone
I don't mean comfort like you are financially comfortable. That's where we all want to be. I mean comfort in the fact that you will never stray to far out of the comfort of your box. Like a puppy or a new born chick. They will never stray to far away from their mother. Why would they They have warmth, food, and comfort. Kinda like why so many kids today, who don't move away from home and make a life for themselves. They are comfortable there. They don't want to move away from that comfort.
Eagles are very beautiful and interesting birds. They build their nests on high cliffs to keep intruders out and their eggs protected. After those eggs hatch and the birds are born, they will grow up and be fed and protected until they can take care of themselves.
The mother will get the youngready for flight by flying close to the nest with food in her mouth, but never giving it to the young birds. As she flies by, they try to grab it from her. Teetering on the edge of the nest their wings are open and flapping to keep from falling. In this way they are exercising the wings that will eventually allow them to soar at heights of 10,000 feet and reach speeds up to 35 mph.
To get the birds out of their comfort zone, the mother will take out the soft feathers that had once lined the nest. This will expose the thorny sticks and twigs of the nest, making it anything but comfortable.
To the reluctant bird who just doesn't want to leave that warm comfy nest, she will eventually push him out. As he falls, he had better learn how to use those wings. She will come underneath him a couple of times and catch him to try again. This will only happen for so long. procrastinating If he hasn't picked it up, she will let him fall to his death.
comfortzone 97% of the world's population live their lives in their comfort zone. In the box. Only 3% venture out of the box. Those are your Donald Trump's, Robert Kiyosaki's, and Thomas Edison's of the world. They are the risk takers. The people who dare to dream. The adventurers of this world. The entrepreneurs that will leave their marks on society. Discover the cure for a disease.
Thomas Edison tried over a thousand times to build an incandescent light bulb. Just think how many people must have laughed How many must have thought he was a bit crazy But he never quit until he did what he set out to do. He could see that light bulb in his head. Nobody else could.
Determination, perseverance, and a will that is not moved by the naysayers. You know--.the people who are shouting their insults and negative remarks from the comfort of their box. That is what is needed to be a network marketer. You have to get uncomfortable. You have to get out of the box.
Do you want to soar like an eagle Do you want to go to new heights Do you want to fly where very few people have gone Are you an eagle Than get out of the comfort of your box and fly!
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In last night's Episode 2 of the somekeyword, we saw the contestants in their second week of competition struggling to overcome obstacles. This is nothing new, especially if you've seen the show before. In the 10 previous seasons, we've seen many overweight individuals and couples deal with the emotional part of their obesity - why they got obese - and what they can do about it. Much like the average American. Except on this show, they are forced to deal with it in the open, unlike the average American at home who can shove it under the carpet if they wish.
The group is still split into two separate teams, 5 teams training with the new, still unknown for drama's sake trainers and 6 teams training with Bob and Jillian. This week's challenge is a week's immunity and $10,000. 00 to the team with the highest percentage of weight loss. And so the workouts begin. . . comfortzone but through the strenuous exercises, the grunting and groaning, the collapsing and screaming, let's look at the emotional breakthroughs. . .
somekeyword
Jennifer, 27, on the green team - struggling with boxing with trainer Jillian, who asks her "When is the last time you reached for anything" as she yells at her to reach and punch. Jennifer realizes that "working through obstacles and challenges is going to be what changes my weight forever" and "sometimes you have to reach".
Arthur, 34, on the blue team - who admits he got with the wrong crowd and lost everything, including his dream of sports. As he tries to walk away, trainer Bob tells him not to walk away from your feelings now - "feel them and heal from them". Bob pushes him further as Arthur is able to run on the treadmill at 5.0 for 30 seconds, a feat he had never before accomplished.
Deni, 49, on the pink team - goes after the punching bag with her unknown trainer with memories of being called "dumb Deni" by her father when she couldn't compete with her siblings. "I played the role because that's where I was put".
Jennifer, again, on the green team - who is burdened by her dad's obesity and her wanting to help him all the time. "That is why you are not losing weight", Jillian tells her, "because you're trying to take care of dad".
Dr. Huizenga meets with some of the contestants to review the reality of their medical conditions, including:
Courtney, 22, who has an estimated inner age of 40
Olivia, 34, the opera singer, who has so much visceral fat around her neck that she can't take a deep breath
Don and Dan and , 54 brothers, whose estimated death is 9 years away due to their habits including cigarettes, sugar, chocolate and corn chips
Arthur, 34, who has 370 excess pounds of hydrated fat and whose estimated age is 60
Their physical challenge of the week was for the ranch team to build a bridge to a pier with rafts and to do it in a time to beat the other team, who had completed it earlier. They lost that challenge and had 3 lbs added to the week's weigh-in. But they prevail in the final weigh-in and defeat the other team by 11 lbs. No one goes home this week.
When is the last time you reached for something
Can you feel your feelings and heal from them instead of running from them
Can you overcome negative roles from the past that you may have played
Are you trying to take care of everyone else around you so that you don't have to take care of yourself
If you answer these questions honestly and then deal with them, you could be on your way to being your own Biggest Loser. comfortzonebook Now, will you.
For more honesty in weight loss and a true desire to help people fight obesity, visit our somekeyword or click on the "Subscribe" button above. Be strong and healthy, friends comfortzone!
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Have you heard the advice, "Step out of your comfort zone" You may not realize it but there's a secret to this advice. Just stepping out of your comfort zone is not enough. We can all give examples where we've been in uncomfortable situations and then have been quite happy going back to our comfort zones. But these situations didn't have a significant impact on our wealth. It encompasses more than simply stepping out of your comfort zone; you need to step into the barrier zone to make money and increase your wealth.
The Barrier Zone is where you put all the things that are BOTH uncomfortable to you AND that hold you back. That's The Barrier Zone. Items that are in The Barrier Zone can be there for a number of reasons: you might not know how to do something; you might have been told that you're not good at it; or you might think you need more experience or knowledge. A few examples that might fall into each of the three zones are listed below.
Outside The Comfort Zone may have: Meeting someone new, going to a new place, not a normal routine, starting a new job, and learning a new skill.
What's in your Barrier Zone First, take the time to list 1-3 items that you really wish you could accomplish or know you should achieve to make money and become wealthy. Next, take one of the items and talk with a friend or spouse and ask them how you could complete it successfully This will provide you with a new prospective, impart support, and add momentum to completing this task. Next, identify the first step you need to do for that item to get done. Sign up for that class! Make that phone call! Talk with an expert! Don't worry about the other steps right now, those will come later. Commit to following through on just that one step because that very first step is the hardest. Lastly, share with your friend or spouse success and your progress in becoming wealthy. Celebrating your success with others will keep you energized and motivated comfortzone.
It's an amazingly liberating experience when you successfully conquer and accomplish one of the items from your Barrier Zone to move your money making abilities forward. You'll feel GREAT! You'll wonder why you didn't attempt it sooner. procrastinating You'll also look forward to undertaking the next thing on your Barrier Zone list.
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